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I get it, hate is a strong word. But sometimes it’s really the only word that accurately describes how I feel about being a parent. You know those days. Everyone woke up cranky, maybe you’re not feeling 💯, your kids have done more screaming and crying than anything else since they woke up, the coffee just isn’t cutting it, and your temper keeps threatening to show itself. Parenting sucks on those days and feeling a hate for it is totally okay. If you didn’t hate it on those days I’d worry about you a little and we probably couldn’t be friends anymore. Just kidding, but seriously, tell me how you do it 😂
You Never Get Enough Sleep
I am a person who requires 9-10 hours of sleep to feel fully human. I am also a person who has two kids under five years old. Who wants to guess how often I get even 5 hours of sleep let alone 9 or 10. I hate being a parent on nights when I hear a small voice repeatedly yelling “mom” from down the hall. Or when I hear a strange sounding cough from their room (prompting me to check on them and then stay awake listening for more coughing). Or when weird noises from the bathroom that result in my rubbing little backs while attempting to simultaneously clean up the mess that missed the toilet. And I hate it a little the morning after those nights too.
Kids are Unreasonable
My kids are sweet, loving, wonderful children. Except when they’re not. When they are sweet, loving, and wonderful I do my best to give them anything their little hearts desire, within reason. Funny thing is, young children don’t understand reason very well. To them all of their requests are reasonable. “Mom, I want an ice cream cone for breakfast”. “Can we go to the store and buy a new truck because I just smashed mine on purpose and it broke”. “Why can’t I wear my bathing suit to the store? I don’t think -35 degrees celsius is cold”. The first time my daughter told me she didn’t love me after I denied what she thought was perfectly reasonable request (she didn’t want to go to bed, ever), on that day I hated being a parent.
Kids Scare the Crap Out of You Pretty Regularly
My son started coughing horribly one night and he wasn’t able to get it under control. He was making this horrible, barking type cough noise and couldn’t catch his breath. I freaked out, threw a shirt on him (he sleeps in his underwear), took him out to the van, and buckled him into his seat. Three minutes later we were at the hospital and about 10 minutes after that the doctor was seeing us. Turns out it was Croup and since I’d never experienced it before I didn’t know what it was and I panicked and rushed to the hospital. He was given a steroid medication (in orange juice, which he loved) and a popsicle (which he also loved). But in those moments from when I heard him start coughing uncontrollably to when the medication finally started working I hated being a parent. I have never been so scared (well, except for when this same kid was born but that is a story for a different day).
Kids Make You Love Them Anyway
Parenting is so hard that it is almost impossible to not hate it some of the time. I love my kids more than anything, I would give them every organ, every breath, and I would die for them if necessary. But man, some days they just wear me down and make me second guess my decision to be a parent. But the thing about parenting is that those times when you hate it, when you wish you could tell your kids to just go away, when you love them so much that you end up feeling more hurt or scared that you’ve ever felt, when you wish you could just quit and walk away from it all, those are the times that make the good parts worthwhile. Because even though I sometimes hate being a parent, I love it so much more.
Until next time,
Chantal, the Secular Homemaker